Today I’ll choose to cry for the very last time. This is because i want to heal and in order to heal i have to let it out completely. This baggage is too heavy to carry around thinking that it’ll get better but instead it doesn’t, i only get used to the situation.
Today is the day i decide to let you know that it hurts like a bitch,that every sing word you said made me numb.Was it cause i loved you with every being in me or was it the fact that this was the end of it all.No matter the case it still did hurt.
Talking and thinking about it made it hurt the more,was it the great times we had or was it the fact that i won’t be having those great times with you anymore. You made me believe in paradise, all the places we went reminds me of you, the photos we took,reminds me of how happy we were in that moment.
To be honest it has taken me lots of courage to actually come up with words to describe how i feel inside.I’m not going to say how much i hate you for breaking my heart and making me cry but instead, I’m going to talk about how much happy you made me feel.
Remember when we met at the helipad,it all began there.We made so much promises with assurance that we had so much to live for with each other side to side.We made such a great a team.
The various coffee shops you took me to,some i didn’t even know existed.Your friend’s wedding that we attended having me as your date.Boooy have i said the lunch we had with your family, in that moment i knew there’s no one i would rather be with but you.
The gifts we shared symbolising our relationship, the promise ring and the two pieced necklace. All these were golden moments i wouldn’t trade for the world. You loved me with your all and i gave you my all too. We knew our love and friendship was something real that nothing or no one would come in between us.
You made life so simple and every night I’d go to sleep,i slept knowing that someone loved me and i loved him back with the same ferocity. The photos we took were assurance that we were so happy that i felt what infinity and beyond meant.
Today I’m going to talk about how you were my crush all day everyday. There’s a way you looked at me that made me weak,the dances you taught me;those were my best moments. Remember when you practiced how you would carry me and dance with me in our wedding? Yes i still remember that like it was yesterday because every single word you told me went straight to my heart.I felt every single word, joke,i felt it all.
I prayed to God every day to keep us together and happy and that no obstacle would separate us or weaken our relationship. I gave you my all and when you left, i was as empty as the dark.I felt every vein in me,i felt the hair in my body leave for a moment cause i gave you all of me. 101% of every emotions, all the happiness and every being in me.You took it all cause when you love,you love with your all.
I thank you for the good heart that your family has ,especially your sisters,we made friendship so tight you’d think i was part of the family already. I have no regrets for whatsoever that happened between us,infact i want to thank you for the little infinity you gave me with in a number of days.You made my birthday worthwhile. On my graduation you stood by me all the way from Eldoret.If that ain’t love tell me what it is.You have been there for me for good and bad times.You’ve corrected me and shared your views where i needed clarity. Like i said,you were God sent. You made me believe that there’s actually true love and I’m really thankful for that.You made me realize that one can actually be happy and believe in shooting stars.We made so much memories within a short period of time and I’m glad i was able to make them with you.
I want to be thankful once more that true love actually exists and that it needs two hearts to actually nurture it and build a home out of it.
Thank you for the best months of my life. You are one of the good souls and you deserve nothing more than the best.
like i said i needed closure, i needed to get it out my chest so that instead of looking back with tears,i can actually look back and smile that at some point in my life, i was actually inlove and everything about it was real because that is what we really wanted.I can now talk about stuff without having to shed a tear and instead i can actually assure someone that love is not a bad thing, in fact if you haven’t fallen in love,you haven’t lived.
I tell you believe in love,love someone with your all despite knowing that someday they’ll wake up and realize that they don’t love you no more.
When you have the chance, cease the moment, create memories, laugh till your stomach hurts,visit places, have coffee dates,dance so hard till your feet hurts because one day the music will stop and you’ll have to dance to your own tune.I tell you it will hurt then but looking back, you’ll realize you had so much happiness in you that it’ll be able to heal your broken heartedness.
I won’t wish you all the best in your life because that is what you said to me when you were leaving but instead I’ll tell you thank you for the joy you brought into my life.I know I’m supposed to hate you and probably throw cursing words at you for ‘so much for my happy ending’ but instead I’m going to tell you that some moments you only get to experience them once and sometimes that once is good enough.You are the best thing that has ever happened into my life.
Thanks.
Regards,
me,myself and I.
😃
love and light
being.imelda 