You’re one today son❤️

To my dear son, the beautiful boy who made me a mother. Today you are one.


My Sweet Buddy, You’re a year old today. A whole 365 days. I just can’t get over those words. I start to cry every time I think about it, maybe because I don’t want you to grow up so fast but also because it’s been such a rollercoaster of a year. Those tears are mostly happy, joyful tears, but a little sad, too. I look back at our first year together and see the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Motherhood changed my heart in ways I never saw coming.

I’ve already wished you Happy Birthday about 10 times since you woke up, and you still don’t know what on earth I’m talking about.

I had a gut feeling you were a boy from the beginning. There’s just some things that a Mama knows, and that was one of them for me. We didn’t find out if you were a boy or girl until you were born, but I had already bonded with you, my son, before your birth day. Your daddy and I always prayed for you , Buddy. Looking back now, I wouldn’t change a single minute in our journey, because the Lord knew what a precious, wonderful gift He was giving us. It was worth every second of waiting. You were worth every hard day of waiting for a baby.

On this, your first birthday, I can’t help but remember where I was a year ago today.

Back where it all began

You were born late on a Wednesday afternoon. I had spent the whole day in labour. Oh yes, you took your time to arrive, but my goodness, you were worth the wait.

You clung to me as soon as you were put on my arms. You had a gruff, throaty cry, but my heartbeat quieted you, and your breathing gradually slowed to match it. You knew instinctively that I was your heart, your centre, your home. I had known for months that I was a life source, but from the second you arrived that abstract concept became solid, breathing reality. I had never felt more alive or vital.

This first year of being your mum has been a wild, exhausting and exuberant ride. I have learnt more about myself than I ever thought possible.

You have changed our little family forever with your mere existence. Your life has accentuated and added layers to the person I was before, and to your Dad too. It’s as if I viewed the world in black and white, and I now see the world as if through your eyes, in vivid colour.

What you’ve taught me

This first year of your life has been a remarkable year of developmental leaps, milestones and ‘almosts.’ Yes, almosts. The milestones are exciting, but for some reason it’s the things you’re still learning to do that resonate most with me.

You’ve been trying to walk for the last couple of months; standing and putting wobbly steps together. Learning to walk is a monumental task, but I never see you discouraged by your perpetually failed attempts to take steps. Each time you fall again on your bottom, you seem calm, unfazed and so wise somehow. You know you’ll get there. You’re not in a rush.

My son, I can learn so much from your patience, courage and consistency. I’m constantly trying to rush things, impatiently looking towards the place I want to be professionally, creatively and relationally. I’m a perfectionist, so I often want to get it right the first or at least the second time. But the 34th time? Well, you wouldn’t catch me around after that many failed attempts.

There’s so much untapped potential inside you, waiting to spring into life.

Some you’ll discover in the next months and years, and others will wait five decades to be realised. This is the beautiful mystery of life and learning.

I love watching something new break through the surface, a unique, quirky interest or habit that becomes synonymous with your personality. You’re a true individual. You don’t know what comparison is. You have no interest in grades, standards or meeting developmental milestones ‘on time’.

I can promise you this, my Miles: I promise to treasure every second from here on out. I promise to truly experience those moments. Even when it’s hard, and even when you’re so fussy that I just want to scream. Even on the hardest of days, I’m going to remember every second, every emotion, every fear, and every joy. I’m going to savor every new thing  you do and every milestone we reach. Sometimes life happens way too fast for my heart and soul to process, but I’m going to do all that I can to make those first days up to you. I promise to never wish a day with you away. You’ve taught me more in a year than I ever imagined–you saved my life and gave me back a life that is truly joy-filled and worth living.

For you, life is simple.

You have your priorities in order and know what you need. Love, hugs, quality time and space by yourself to explore. Food, water, sleep. Time spent outdoors with your feet and hands on the earth, and your skin kissed by the sun. Songs and stories. More hugs.

You see life as a wonderful opportunity to experience joy, to be curious at every opportunity, to love intensely, to trust and be trusted, to find intimacy, to belong to a family and a community. You inspire me.

Darling boy of mine, thank you for this first year. Thank you for teaching me and being patient with me. Thank you for your unconditional love, and your sloppy kisses.

Today is going to be a big celebration. I’ll try not to cry too much, but if they do come, I promise they’re happy tears. You’re the best thing that ever happened to us, Miles J Odegi. Thank you, Jesus, for this little life. 

I’ll love you forever, and beyond.

Your Mum 💜🤍💛xxx

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