To the most awe-inspiring creation ever made, I don’t think anyone is able to understand the love I have for you; I don’t even think I fully understand it myself. It’s a kind of love I have never held in my heart for anyone else. It has never quite made sense to me how anyone could love someone so much, without having ever met them, but from the moment I first heard your little heart beating, mine was filled with an abundance of that exact kind of love.
In the small part of my life that we have gotten to spend together, we have been through so many ups and downs. Having the responsibility of carrying you inside my womb has been one of the scariest, most difficult things I have ever had to do, but it has also been the most rewarding blessing I could have ever received. I have spent almost every single day for months on end a crazy, miserable, nervous wreck questioning myself about how every move I make will affect you. Morning sickness, health problems for both you and me, emotions, debilitating stress, anxiety, depression, worry – we have been through it all – but no matter how hard it has been, I would not trade one single second of it because for every difficult or scary moment we faced together, I have experienced joy, happiness and love threefold.
Because of you, I have experienced the kind of love that makes me strive to be the absolute best mother, wife, student and person I am capable of being; the kind of love that the trivial things in my life seem non-existent, the kind of love that is able to pull me through the toughest times and reassure me that I do have a future, that we have a future. With every kick, flutter, movement, hiccup, ultrasound and heartbeat comes a glimpse of the end of the tunnel and reminds me of just how thankful I am for the time I have gotten to spend with you and for every second God decides to let us spend together on this earth. Soon, you will be at home, in my arms. But before then, I want to make a promise to you.
I promise to be there for you always. I promise to try model the kind of love, grace and care to you that God shows me, and will show you, every single day. I will not be the perfect parent, and I know I will make mistakes, but I promise to be the very best mother and role-model to you that I can be. I promise you I will be your parent first and foremost, but secondly, your best friend. I promise to always hold you close to my heart and to never forget these special times we have had together over the last eight months. I promise that nothing you do will ever change my love for you, but it will continue to grow each and every day.
For I loved you long before I met you.
LoveXLight
being.imelda 