Dear Munchkin

Dearest Miles,

You are enough.

Do not let anyone — especially me or dad — ever doubt you.

Live for yourself, and not to anyone’s expectations, not society’s, not your parents’, not your grandparents’, not your friends. There is no image you need to live up to.

Seek help when you need; you do not have to be strong all the time.

Cry, scream, whine, throw tantrums. Express your frustrations, your anger, and your jealousies all you need. It frees up space for giggles, laughter, fun, love, joy, and hope.

Do not suppress your emotions. Have people around you who let you express how you feel without telling you how you “should” or “should not” feel.

If you do not enjoy something, do not force yourself to “enjoy the moment.”

Have the courage to play all your life, to talk to yourself, to sing to yourself, and have a conversation with your toys.

If I ever ask you to memorize vocabulary, recite multiplication tables, or force you into extra tuition for chemistry to get better grades, refuse. Playing and daydreaming does more to a healthy life than any knowledge you stuff into your brain.

Be your own person. No one owns you. You are not “my” baby. You are you.

There are people in this world less blessed than you — but this is not a reason to not have the sorrows or worries that you feel.

I will unknowingly project my fears on to you, try to live vicariously through you, and attempt to protect you from experiencing the aches and pain I had when I was growing up. Give them back to me because you are you, and you will experience life in your ways.

One day you might not like me, you may not like spending time with me, you may not agree with me, and you may find me annoying. Tell me, scold me, shout at me, slam the door at me. I hope we will always be able to have a conversation, however difficult, and I will not cause you to shut off from me.

I apologize in advance for all the mistakes I make and all the things I said I would do but forget. I am sorry for the tantrums and things I say that will hurt you. I have my own shit to deal with and I am learning. Teach me.

I try not to be the mother or wife I said I would not be, but it is not always a smooth ride. You have every right to tell me to go look at myself.

Build your husband / partner; do not tear him/her down or question him/her endlessly like I do. Let him/her be forever your soul mate.

You do not need me or anyone to tell you that you are beautiful and intelligent. You are. You know that already. 

 

Regards,

Mommy.

I hope you find what you’re looking for

I hope you find what you’re looking for out there.

I hope you find the kind of happiness that exists on your own terms. I hope you truly take the time to figure out what moves you, what encourages your soul, what you deeply crave from life, and I hope you have the courage to chase that. I hope you have the courage to believe that you are deserving of everything you desire, that you are capable and worthy of curating the kind of life for yourself that sparks something within you. You have a fire inside of you — I hope you never let convenience, or comfort, or the easiness of standing still put it out. I hope you show the world what you can do with all of that passion inside of you.

I hope you find the kind of love that makes you a softer person. The kind of love that makes you want to be a better man or woman, the kind of love that believes in you and supports you, that stands by your side. I hope you find someone who quickly becomes your favorite thing — someone who makes the fall less fearful, someone you can’t help but choose every single day. I hope you find someone who shows you just how deeply you can feel, just how deeply you can love. I hope you find something real, because nothing is more beautiful than loving someone who loves you back. Nothing is more beautiful than loving someone who builds you a home in their heart.

I hope you find acceptance. The kind that rings through your bones, the kind that quiets the voice inside of you that tells you that you are not good enough, or that you are falling behind. I hope you forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made, for the past you keep alive inside of you. I hope you learn to let go — of the things you had to do in order to heal, or to grow, or to survive. You are doing your best. You are human. Please don’t ever forget that.

I hope you find the kind of moments that take your breath away. The kind of moments that change you. I hope you travel to places that cleanse you, I hope you go to concerts that ring through your bones and make you feel alive. I hope you connect with the small things — I hope you look at someone mid conversation and you feel your stomach surge with the feelings you have for them. I hope you surround yourself with the kinds of friends that encourage your spontaneity, that are always there for you. I hope you live. Truly. I hope you don’t hold back. There is so much to feel in this world. I hope you feel it all.

But most of all, I hope you find yourself out there. I hope you figure out your heart, I hope you figure out your mind. I hope you learn how to be kind to yourself, how to embrace the journey you are on. I hope you learn how to be proud of the person you are becoming, I hope you learn how to be proud of where you are — even if it isn’t exactly where you want to be. I hope you learn to fall in love with the process, with the messiness of life and the confusion of it all.

At the end of the day, I hope you find what you’re looking for out there. I hope your life inspires you.

LoveXLight,

Being.imelda

Thank you

Thanks for being such a wonderful partner. Thank you for seeing me at my low points and not running scared. Thank you for hugging me when I need it, for pushing my worries out of the way and wrapping your arms around me. Thank you for knowing when I’m not okay even when I say that I am. Thank you for asking what’s wrong and actually caring when I tell you, for listening and not just nodding along, but finding a way to fix it. Thank you for giving me love even when I find it hard to give it back to you. Because I love you and I always will, but sometimes whatever I’m going through will make me terrible at showing it.

Thank you for being patient, for understanding that trust takes time and that my walls weren’t built to shut you out, but for my own protection.

Thank you for sticking around long enough to learn that just because half-hearted love is the only kind of love I’ve ever received, doesn’t mean it’s the only kind of love I’m capable of giving. Thank you for not assuming it’s the only kind I’m ready for, because when I fell in love with you I knew I was ready, and I knew this time it was real, that the love you were so willing to give me was not half-assed or almost, it was full and genuine and the most authentic thing I’ve ever known.

I don’t believe in love at first sight and I’m not sure if I believe in soul mates, but I believe that something with you feels different than all the rest.

Thank you for just being there. Thank you for being that person who even if you don’t know what to say, your presence alone brings comfort. Thank you for showing up, for not letting me down like all the others have. Thank you for being you.

Thank you for being the love of my life, but for also being my best friend.

Because all of the things I’ve thanked you for above are what I’ve always hoped for in love, but I never thought I’d find all of those things in a best friend too. I never expected to find a love that just gets me. A love that laughs with me so hard I actually fall over. A love that does victory dances with me around the living room when we win the Super Bowl. A love that doesn’t worry about whether or not you sound stupid or look stupid, a love that doesn’t care. I’ve always wanted that. I’ve always hoped for that.

I’ve always hoped I’d find love, I’m just really glad I found it with someone I can also call my best friend.

Being.imelda❤️

Trust me its okay

Just when you thought you had everything figured out, you will come to a point when you will be so down and wonder why you can’t seem to get life right all at once.

The truth is you can’t.

Change is inevitable and every day we are growing into the person we should be.

Have you experienced going into a room to get something and as soon as you are already there, you will forget the very reason why you even came in the first place? For me, that’s how life is.

At one moment you knew your strengths, your weaknesses and your worth, you knew where you are going and the next thing you know you’re lost.

You don’t know where the right path is anymore.

You’re not sure if you are still who you were before tragic events start to happen.

You will start to question if what you did or you will ever do has a purpose at all because everything starts to become irrelevant for you now and that’s okay.

It’s okay to not know whether this path will lead you to where your dream awaits or if that road will ever end you up with someone who will love you endlessly. It’s okay to live and not be sure of everything. It’s okay to lose your mind from time to time because if you ask me, I think it’s healthy to get out of your mind once in a while.

Remember, we are not done growing yet and we will never be done with it because every day we learn something new.

Getting lost is just another way of saying you’ll find your way again someday. So don’t give up just yet, the right path will only be right if you think and believe that it is.

Life is too short to have an itinerary of where you’re going next.

Get lost and enjoy being lost, you’ll learn a lot from it.

With love,

Being.imelda❤️

Dear younger self

To my dear younger self,

You’re going to meet people. A lot of people. Each one will be different so don’t be too naive to think that they all have good intentions. Now before I impart to you the wisdom I have gathered over the years, I need to tell you this very VERY important skill that you need to master.

               Girl, you need to chill.

This whole letter will revolve around those words because being “chill” is probably the greatest skill that you will benefit most from if you’re navigating your way in the modern dating world. It’s a very easy thing to say but hard to do, but don’t worry as I will keep reminding you of it as we go on just in case you forget halfway through this letter.

Girl, you need to chill. Do your assignments first before you reply to whoever that guy you’re texting. You do you. Those boys will come and go but your grades will stick around on your student record forever. See? Loyalty. The guys you’ll eventually date don’t have that.

Prioritize yourself and your goals more before you give your attention to those weird creatures called boys who shower you with words of flattery which they most likely do so with 15 other girls. Remember that the one who is serious about you will wait for you and support you with what you want to do while checking out other girls on the side because “boys will be boys.”

You need to chill. When you like someone, stop jumping into the future and thinking about how many dogs you’re going to have or how your kids will look like or if he’s going to cry in the church’s altar on your wedding day or not. You just literally met the person and you don’t know yet if they’re allergic to dogs which is a total turn off if it happens to be so. Get to know them first. Really figure out their true self. Trust me, their rock-hard abs won’t matter if their heart is rock-hard as well.

Girl, you have to chill. Grab a chill pill when you like someone. I know your senses seem to leave you when you start falling for them so start exercising that brain not only in your studies but also when dating. See, you need to stop dissecting every little detail of a guy’s actions, text message, and/or the slight change in their tone of voice. When a guy is into you, he will make sure you know. You won’t be spending time reading articles on google about “Signs He’s Into You” or foolishly taking those “Does he like you?” quizzes because he’ll make sure that you’re spending time with him instead. Leave the poor flower in peace and don’t wonder if he likes you or he likes you not. There won’t be any mixed signals. If a guy likes you, they will pursue you.

Girl, you got to chill. Even if you like the guy, stop making excuses for their shortfalls. You’re doing a disservice to nobody but yourself. You deserve to be treated like the #kween that you are so don’t stick around with someone who’s way below your standards. Next time a guy tells you that your expectations are too high, just turn around and leave. Believe me, your standards aren’t unrealistic. Know why? Because those are exactly the kind of things that you would do for them. Now if they can’t even meet you halfway, are you sure you would want to settle for that? The previous guy you dated is 6-foot-tall but still couldn’t reach your standards. Pathetic. Girl, next time don’t lower your standards below than the height of your high heels.

Girl, chill. Don’t change yourself to fit the ideals of someone else. You be your weird self and throw around your glittery sass. The right person will love you for who you are. If not, maybe you can force your cat to love you instead. But seriously, wait for the one who won’t think that you having answers to everything that they say is annoying just because they couldn’t think of a better comeback. The right one will appreciate you and your smart mouth and how you can carry a conversation. Moreover, don’t try to be cuter or sexier or nicer just to impress someone. It doesn’t work that way. You can be the best of the best at something but that still won’t be enough for the wrong person. Ironically, you can be in your ugliest state in front of the right one and they’d still be in awe and think you’re some fictitious character like a mermaid or a unicorn. Really. Don’t change your hobbies, taste in music, face structure, or maybe even your beliefs and values just so you would fit into the other person’s “type”. Date someone who will not erase your individuality but will cherish it and support you as you slowly grow into the woman you’ve always wanted to be.

Seriously, girl, you need to chill. Guys aren’t charity work. Stop dating those who don’t know how to care for themselves because you want to “fix them.” Date someone who will take care of you instead not because you need taking care of because you’re already a strong independent young woman but because they want to care for you and maybe even spoil you. Listen to me, the moment you meet a guy who tells you about how crazy his ex is but still talk to her or how stupid his lecturers are because he doesn’t get what to do with the assignment, turn around and run away. You already got more issues than vogue. Don’t add more.

Chill. Your 3rd-degree cousins don’t need to know who you’re dating. Your free 3-month trial on Spotify lasted longer than your relationships so don’t put anything up on social media. Keep who you’re dating to yourself. Yap to your best friends, yes. But social media? Really? What do other people got to do with it? Your relationship should only be between you and your partner. You don’t need a validation from your Aunt Susan that you look good together. Because (1) chemistry isn’t important because you’re not filming a Nicholas Sparks movie; and (2) you don’t have any aunt named Susan.

While we’re on that topic, don’t you listen to those people who tell you “you’re single because your standards are too high” crap. If they truly care about you, they will want what’s best for you and nothing less. People still tell you that good looking guys will most likely cheat on you? Pfft. Even ugly ones cheat so why not finish strong and go for the genetically blessed ones? Stop the madness and don’t settle.

Girl, you need to chill. Why do you want to have a boyfriend anyway? Ain’t it fun to be third-wheeling? Also, listen to how dramatic and messy relationships are these days based on your monthly subscription to your friends’ love stories. Relationships aren’t only about going on dates and having an Instagram boyfriend although that would be really nice for your blogging. Relationships require commitment and if you’re only willing to commit to your Netflix subscription, then you’re not ready. But silly, you’re still young. Enjoy your single life and go on more adventures with your friends and make lifelong friends. Spend more time with your family and focus on yourself and your goals. Love will come along and find you someday. And it should be easy. If it’s not all fun and games now that you’re still just dating, how much worse when you are married?

Much love,

Your older self❤️

Lessons learned in 2017

1. You can’t convince someone to stay.

2. Hurting is better than feeling numb.

3. Being single can feel better than being in a relationship where you feel more alone.

4. Some people will hate every bit of you and all you can do is accept that and move on.

5. Friends will come and go, don’t let that ruin your self esteem.

6. Pounds will come and go, don’t let a number define you.

7. Every person you know is struggling with something. Reach out.

8. Sex feels way better when it’s with someone who you care about.

9. No matter how much you like someone, it doesn’t mean they will automatically reciprocate those feelings.

10. Never ever chase someone

who doesn’t want to be chased.

11. You are worth more than you think you are.

12. Good friends are hard to find, so when you find them, hold on tight.

13. Sometimes life is shitty. But life will also go on.

14. Don’t ever say no to Paris, or New York, or LA, or your dreams for a boy.

15. You will never get to where you want to be in life by complaining.

16. Boys will continue to ghost you, hurt you, and disappoint you. But boys will also continue to give you butterflies, make you giddy, and give you love.

17. This is YOUR life. Don’t live just to please other people

Being.Imelda

PeaceXLove❤️

Dear Imelda

Dear Imelda,

How are you? How have you been? How’s life treating you? Is the universe being fair or unfair to you? How are you coping with life? Family? Work? Social life? Are you happy?

How much have you accomplished since we last spoke? What’s your current passion? Do you still have your friends with you? Do you create time for your loved ones. You were always good at gifting. Do you still spread love to people around you?

I know I’m asking so much at once but I really want to know how you’re doing. Did you finally get confirmed at your work place? How’s corporate life like? Do you enjoy what you do? How about the people that you work with? Again I’m going to ask, are you happy? Are you living the life you’ve always wanted?

I heard you moved out. How’s that life like? Are you enjoying your freedom? What sort of things are you into nowadays? What’s your current favorite food,drink,music,best place to hang out in, favorite TV show? How’s your emotional Intelligence like? Do you still feel too much? Do you give your all to what you do? Are you in any relationship at the moment? And if you are, how is it like? I hope you’ve learned some of the lessons from your previous relationships. What’s his name? How’s your story like? Does he make you happy? Do you see a future with him? Do you pray for him? What kind of things are you guys into? Maaahn I want to know so much about you Imelda. Since you turned 25 I just feel like we’ve lost track of time. We don’t talk much anymore and you know how much I hate being put in the dark.

How’s your family like? Your siblings? Is Wendy done with school? How about Alex and Joseph. Did they join campus already? I hear dad travels alot. How is he? Does he enjoy his job? How about mum. Is she still full of life? I miss her stories you know. You can never get bored around her. She can tell you the same story a hundredth time with different versions.

How are your friends? Do you still keep in touch? Do you still have the same circle or you got new ones? How are they doing in life? Kindly do keep in touch soonest you read this. I need updates ASAP. Sending you love and light your way.

Write soon.

Regards,

Being.imelda

LoveXLight❤️

Th❤️nkful

To My Loving Boyfriend,

To start off, here’s something I don’t say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can’t even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do – and have done – for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don’t just throw in the towel and say we’re done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Thank you for being supportive with everything that I want to do. Instead of trying to convince me ‘no’, you’re encouraging me with a ‘yes’ or ‘you got it’. Having you as my number one cheerleader is such a blessing, because I know I’ll always have someone rooting for me. And you know that as much as you’re cheering for me, I’m cheering for you right back. Having such immense support for one another is so important in any relationship, and I’m so lucky to have that kind of love and attention coming from you everyday.

I just wanted to let you know that I appreciate you more than words can write. I could probably talk for hours about how much I love you and how obsessed I am with you, but that’s a little too much to put into an approximately 500 word piece. More importantly than telling you, I hope I’m able to show you everyday through my actions how much of a positive impact you have on my life. I’m certainly not the same person I was when we first started talking over three-four years ago, but I’m definitely a better person today than then, with a big thanks to you for that. You’ve helped me grow so much and I know you’ll help me to improve for the better even more in the future.

I can’t wait to see where life’s adventures take us next. The only thing I know is that I definitely want to enjoy those adventures with you by my side. I promise to keep enjoying all of the little things that make every day with you so amazing. Thank you for the thousandth for everything that you do for me, because I don’t know where I would be – or who I would be – had it not been you by my side all this time. Thank you for , being my best friend, my soulmate, my secret keeper, my confidante and the Love of my life. And if I don’t say it enough, always know I love you and everything that you do always and Forever.

With So Much Love,

Your Very Appreciative Girlfriend

With Love,

Being.imelda

LoveXLight❤️

Christmas🎄❤️

Babe❤️,

<<<<
k you for loving me quietly. For taking the time to remember how many sugars I take in my morning coffee, for knowing me well enough to notice when I am happy or sad, disappointed or overwhelmed. In the silence I notice everything you do — how you reach for my hand when I am having a nightmare, how you hold me a little tighter when I see something that softens me. Thank you for choosing me every single day. For fighting for what we have when difficulty hangs heavy in the air, for insisting that we are stronger together, capable of proving the odds wrong, filled with the potential to make even the hardships that will meet us into lessons, into seeds that grow us. Thank you for always being my voice of reason. For calming me down when doubt sinks into my skin, for building my restless a heart a safe place within your very own. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better person. For seeing gardens within me when I saw cemeteries. You have this beautiful way of reflecting your vision into my eyes, this talent for showing me the person I am and the person I have every opportunity to be. Thank you for being proud of me. Thank you for loving the parts of myself I used to hide, for cherishing the quirks and the twists that others always wanted to untie. Most importantly —  thank you for making an effort that stretches far beyond a simple bouquet of loud red roses. For making it your mission to make me smile; to fill my life with wonder. You and your ability to love so openly, and so deeply, despite what you have been through is stunning. With every new day you make me want to discover more and more ways to make you happy, you make me want to invent new words that could rightfully describe just how much I feel for you. You have taught me that love can thrive, that it can come back into your life and change you from the inside. You have taught me how courageous it is to simply have faith in the heart of another, and all I can say, with every inch of my patchwork soul, is thank you. Thank you for what you do. Thank you for how you love. Merry Christmas 🎄

Being.imelda

PeaceXLove❤️